CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Charleston firefighter Phil Pfister has become the first American in 24 years to win the World’s Strongest Man competition.

Clearly, we must be related. Well we have the same last name and all…sort of. You see, from the original Pfister line (a family descended from a long line German baker according to die freie Enzyklopädie) resulted a splinter group of Fisters (a much smaller group: the 4,974 Pfisters compete with the Robinets and Perlman’s in representing the 7,462nd most popular name in the country with far more obscure Fister clan toiling in obscurity behind at the 30,431 slot…I guess that’s why I am the most popular “tim fister” in the googleverse). Us fonetic Fisters pride ourselves on how much easier it is to spell our name–this despite being confused with the 191,499 Fishers and impolite jokes that confuse the origins of my name. Nonetheless, I raise my protein shake to you, Phil Pfister, for briefly showing the world that we are a strong, proud bunch (who don’t just make faucets).